That I just had to share with you all.
Storm over Texas
Over the clouds
Buddha Temple, Datdawtaung Cave, Myanmar
Fisherman’s Bastion, Hungary
Monument Valley, Utah
Collège de Valleyfield, Quebec, Canada
Manhattan Beach Pier, California
Cherry Blossom Lake, Sakura, Japan
Taj Mahal, India
Lake Louise, Canada
Everyone knows the basic definition of cheating. Being sexually unfaithful to your significant other. I always considered this kissing and anything beyond that.
I would avoid doing any of these things if you have a significant other that you genuinely love. However, I’m drunk maybe 30% of the time and am a people pleaser so sometimes I end up doing the following:
Cuddling: An old fling and sleeping over. He tries to make a move on you but you can’t, you have a boyfriend. Your whole downstairs floor smells like weed and security is looking for someone with weed so you can’t go back down for the night. Use this as an excuse to justify sleeping in the same bed as him, cuddling the whole time.
Being Kissed: Even if you give no response, it was a light peck (from a random girl) and were too drunk to really know what was happening. You feel guilty for even being in that situation. No big deal right? You didn’t take it further and you’ll never see her again.
Flashing a Stranger: Just cause you’re wild, and drunk and on omegle with your drunk friends. A really attractive guy asks you to, and you consider it fine because you’re not the one trying to get off, and you’ll never meet him, and it means nothing, and it’s all jokes. So why do you feel guilty? Because you shouldn’t be doing stuff like this.
So one of my best friends, L, is a lesbian. She owns that fact and isn’t afraid to comment on the hotness of another girl, and is very open about her sexuality. It’s very refreshing. Anyways, she along with our other straight friend B, decided to go to a lesbian party on our university campus. She heard of this event through Facebook, which is a tad sketchy but I trusted L’s judgement.
So we buy Smirnoff ice vodka off of our of-age friend and an old ex fling, K. It is K’s birthday the next day so we give him free shots. We all pre game in his dorm room. After just 2 shots, I was certainly feeling it. Don’t drink on an empty stomach. I was immediately the drunkest one there. We go to the convenience store across the street to pick up a decent chase, and a pack of cigarettes, chain-smoking all the way there (please don’t smoke for God’s sake). We wait for the cab for almost 45 minutes, calling several times, forgetting the address, getting hung up on, and swearing at the cab dispatcher dude. K decides to take shots outside the convenience store, straight out of the bottle like the classy guy he is.
We all go out for another smoke and decide to call a different taxi number. This one shows up in ten minutes. K decides to leave because he didn’t want to be the only guy at a lesbian party. So we finally arrive around 11-11:30ish and head up to the door. It looks like your average student house. We can hear music blasting from the outside. I knock on the door and get let in by some random girl. No warm welcomes or anything but we head in anyways and find ourselves in a living room. The rooms filled with girls, as we suspected, broken off into different cliques, as girls tend to do. No guys in sight. We take a seat on the couch.
I make conversation with the unfriendly girl next to me. She tells me we didn’t miss too much, just some beer pong. Great. I drunkenly go around asking for a shot glass after getting pressured by B and P. Someone gives me one that says “I Eat Pussy Like a Fat Kid Eats Cake.” L gets really excited, and tells them she has the same shot glass. Each of us take two more shots.
A bare-faced but pretty girl comes up to us and compliments us on our hair. She tells us she wants to go blonder herself and that she has virgin hair (never been dyed). I tell her to go for it. She’s smashed. She tells us to keep an eye out for her cell phone because she lost it.
I tell her I’ll keep an eye out and head into the other room with my girls where people are playing beer pong, but with water… A short brunette with blue eyes, T, and some skinny bitch with a red top. We ask if we can play. They tell us yes, yes we can. It’s B and I versus these two. They add in a new rule that I’ve never heard of. While throwing the ball, you must look your opponent directly in the eyes. It seems like a ploy to fuck us up but I’m too drunk to care.
We play and both teams are god awful. This rule makes it impossible to win. The shorter chick refers to me as “blondey.” I start to get bored and talk to that bare-faced girl I was talking to earlier. We get into an intense conversation about our exes. She is also straight, apparently. She suggests finding a room where we can talk. I say sure. So she leads me upstairs and asks the host if there’s a place we can talk privately. The host and her two guy friends (first guys I’ve seen all night) ask us why and suggest we talk there instead. Her name’s Ashley, and like almost all girls I know named Ashley, she is blonde and bitchy. I have literally no idea what we talked about but everyone was very involved in the conversation. The guys looked like twins, I think.
L comes up to me and tells me to get back to the beer pong game. So we trade places, L takes my place talking to these randoms while I go back downstairs to play beer pong. We have only one cup left (meaning we’re probably going to lose) and they have 3. I get my game face on. There’s no fucking way I’m going to lose. They decided to drop the eye contact rule which made my life ten times easier.
B was no help at all as a partner but she was good at encouraging me. I held my breath as I took each shot and guess what? I got it in. All three times. I was too smashed to remember specific details but I do remember being way overexcited about it, hopping up and down and high-fiving B. The short chick, T, offers us some Malibu rum for winning, makes out with the skinny bitch in the red top (they made out a lot that night), and tells us we can keep the rum which she later accused us of stealing.
We end up outside for a cigarette, me, L, B, and the skinny bitch in the red top. I ask for a smoke from her and she steals my lighter. I ask for it back and she denies that she has it, even though I watched her put it in her pocket. But that lighter is actually L’s and she gives the ok. She lights my cigarette and says “pretty girls don’t light their own cigarettes.” I didn’t even want the cigarette so I give it to B. B is smashed out of her fucking mind. She asks if what we are experiencing is real life. Seeing her so wasted sobered me up a bit. We head inside after the smoke is done and I see the girl I was playing beer pong with earlier.
She bumps into me and says “Oh whoops, I thought you were her for a second” (referring to the skinny bitch in the red top). She kisses me on the lips, pretty briefly. I give no response whatsoever. She tells me “don’t tell anyone” and walks away.
B has to go to the washroom so we go together. She unknowingly left her purse in this washroom.
Everyone wants to go to the bar and me and my friends are only 19 so we can’t get in. They tell us it’s all ages (a total fucking lie). So we get in a cab and head back to campus. During the car ride I talked to the bare-faced chick. She found her cell phone and all is well. The guy sitting next to me makes obnoxious sexual innuendos. On the way back, B realizes she doesn’t have her purse, but does so in a very uncertain manner. (“Um… where’s my purse? I think it’s gone maybe? Did we leave it in the house or is it in here perhaps…?”) Once we head back, we start drunkenly conversing about everything under the sun before calling a cab back to retrieve her purse.
The ride back seemed really fast. We head back into the house to find it’s EMPTY. Not a person in sight, just our drunk selves with a house full of valuables. B and I go and find her purse. She drunkenly stumbles over every possible object. I steal foundation, whitening strips, mascara and hand sanitizer from the bathroom because I was a drunk, angry tool and pissed about paying for the cab ride. We go back downstairs and steal all the alcohol we can, which is two beers and some 30% blue drink. We book it outside and head back to the taxi driver.
He drives us back. The rest of our night is pretty basic. We go give K a beer and wish him a happy birthday since it was technically his birthday (1 or 2 in the morning. I have no idea). We put our stolen goods away and L ends up throwing up in a plastic bag. I tried and failed to open the blue drink with my teeth. They were shocked that they were drunker than me for once. We smoked weed while B watched because that’s not her thing.
This all happened on a Thursday night while I had a 9 am english class the next day, which I attended. I literally thought I was dying on my way to class, but after I popped a few advils and took a nap my hangover was cured.
Thanks for reading!!
So you think you’re not addicted because you only smoke when you drink? Well you’re dead wrong. Unless you don’t drink often… Then it’s fine I guess. Get cancer on your own accord.
It feels like something is slowly chewing my brain, bit by bit, from the inside. Something is off, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. The only thing I know is that with three or four puffs of one coffin nail, this shitty feeling might disappear. But you can’t feed the addiction, because that will only make it worse. So you try alternatives.
Exercising doesn’t fix the hole in your brain. Neither does a sauna. Not two extra strength Advils, or gallons of water. Green tea doesn’t do a thing. Video games just make it worse. Nothing will cure you except for a cigarette. You turn away when people look at you in the halls, answer text message in a lazy, apathetic manner, cut conversations short. And all with a constant frown on your face. A genuine smile feels impossible. You’re too sick to be friendly or happy. People are draining you. Life is draining you.
The feeling in your head occasionally pulses through your whole body which makes you feel woozy, ready to pass out. You want to hibernate until the pain goes away but you can’t. There’s too much stuff to be done.
The feeling is in the back of your mind consistently no matter what you do. You can’t escape it. Even when things are good, they’re awful. God knows how long it will last, or how you can accelerate your healing process.
You can avoid all of this by NOT smoking.
If 5 or more apply to you, please stay far, far away from me.
- You couldn’t give a shit whether or not your partner gets off, it’s all about you baby.
- You shoplift or carhop.
- You’d do anything for money.
- You don’t believe in doing favours for friends. If it isn’t benefitting you, why do it right? Asshole.
- You bum cigarettes. Constantly. And never give back.
- You talk shit about everyone.
- You stop hanging out with people when they stop being useful to you.
- You blast your obnoxious music and drive with the windows down for all to hear. Like fuck you.
- You stick it in my ass without asking.
- You don’t courtesy tap. Enjoy me spitting it back in your mouth after.
- You brag about hooking up with people.
- You tailgate.
- You don’t turn off your high beams when passing my car in the dark.
- You try to start fights with people for no fucking reason to look cool.
- You brag about how wasted you were.
- You do coke.
- You cheat.
- You were the bully in elementary or high school.
- You made fun of kids for being different than you.
- You cut people off while driving.
- You have dumped someone or quit your job through a text message, or even better, Facebook.
- Whenever you talk with anyone, the conversation revolves around you. Constantly.
- You get really mad over stupid shit.
- You always had the last cookie, slice of cake, whatever.
- You curse excessively.
- You mock religion and think it’s cool to do so.
- You get people drunk or high solely just so you can have sex with them easier.
- You pressure your partner to do sexual stuff that they clearly don’t want to do.
- You paying for someone else is completely out of the question.
- In the 50′s, the average person laughed 18 times a day. That number has dropped to 6 in this day and age.
- People laugh 6 times more in the presence of one person, and 30 times more in a group.
- Laughter is contagious. This is why many television shows include a laugh track.
- Humour strengthens emotional bonds and helps reduce stress and anxiety.
- It’s like a mini work out and increases energy levels.
- You can laugh alone but it is not the same as sharing a laugh with others.
- Laughter is the best medicine.
- There are many different senses of humour – slapstick, deadpan, sarcasm, and self-deprecating to name a few.
- People of all ages and cultures respond to humour.
- It can be potentially detrimental – to oneself or others, such as openly making fun of someone.
- Your sense of humour depends on a whole bunch of variables – age, location, intelligence, education, context. Ultimately it comes down to personal taste.
- Satire is an intelligent form of humour which attempts to create a better society through ridicule.