I hooked up with this random brown guy like a year and a half ago. And some other guy like a half hour later. Tired of feeling like a whore, I got myself a boyfriend for a year. That fell apart. After finding out my ex boyfriend had fucked someone else, I decided to as well to get back at him. Yolo. It was said brown guy.
We made plans to hang out by some random park at like almost 11 pm by his house. It was a bit sketchy at first but I rolled with it. I chatted him up for a while about what he was doing with his life and what he had been up to the past year. What he’s doing for summer. Yada yada yada.
Eventually we ended up at his house watching Orange is the New Black on Netflix. He was extremely nervous of me. Kept shaking, stuttering a little. It was funny. We hooked up quickly. He was a horrible kisser. Treated my mouth like it was supposed to be eaten. No chill at all. He went down on me out of nowhere and it actually felt awesome. At least he had something going for him. He demanded I return the favour and after working myself up I did it. He said I was good at it. Nice. His precum taste is still in my mouth as I write this and I just brushed my teeth. It’s horrible.
Then he realized we didn’t have a condom so he ASKS EVERYONE IN HIS HOUSE and yells around. I was trying to be a discreet slut but whatever, you crazy brown bastard. He snapchats a picture of us in bed (I covered my face) and sends it to his retarded friends. They give him a thumbs up back. Stupid college boys, always doing shit like this. It comes off so lame and tacky, like you never get girl so you have to show off the few you do get. Please, nobody ever do anything like this ever.
We find a condom. I hide under the blankets while his friend comes in. His friend takes off. He puts it on. I’m pretty sure it’s too big for him and it’s a MEDIUM condom. Also, he put it on BACKWARDS at first. So I’m working with a small penised guy who doesn’t know how to use a condom. Sound like a good time or what?!
Eventually we figure the fucking thing about after sad attempts to have sex. We do it missionary (actually felt good sometimes) and cowgirl (not so much). His dick was so awkward. His technique was so awkward. It like, kept falling out. And it was small. And angled weird. And uncircumcised. I literally rolled my eyes in the middle of fucking him but I don’t think he noticed.
Nobody came, but I got him off later with a hand job. His semen went everywhere. The whole experience was pretty crappy except for a few random good points in between. He left MASSIVE hickies on my neck, no idea how I’m going to explain / cover those up. Probably lots of foundation.
He texted a LOT after and took pictures of me (covering my body and face a bit). It was really fucking annoying. I couldn’t wait to never talk to him again. Even for a rebound, the whole experience was not my favourite. Worst hookup I’ve had in a long time.
We watched a movie and I pretended to get tired. I went to the washroom a few times to look for anything to steal but they had basically nothing in the bathroom so I settled for using his Listerine and moroccan oil in my hair. No idea if he noticed but I hope he did.
His roommates played Fresh Prince of Bel Air in the next room ALL NIGHT. It was then that I realized you can hear EVERYTHING through those walls, including sexual noises. So that’s fun. We “went to bed” at some point after watching a movie. I couldn’t pretend to be asleep next to him for another second so around 4 am I told him I really needed to study for an exam that I had today. That was a half lie, I do have an exam at 7 pm today but god knows I wasn’t leaving to study for it.
I walk 4 kilometres home listening to “Whore” by Get Scared and actually in a really good mood, despite that sex being not so good. I wanted a rebound and I got it. Even if that wasn’t the best experience at least I’m even with my fucking ex now. I walked along the highways. There were VERY few cars. The ones that did pass me slowed down a did a double take, probably wondering what the fuck I was doing walking the highway at 4:30 a.m. I felt like everyone knew.
Thanks for reading my story! :)