I hooked up with this guy about a month ago. We met in Cuba at a dinner reservation. When I first met him I thought he was gorgeous. Definitely one of the most beautiful boys I’ve ever kissed. At least on the top 3.
He kissed me in the ocean. He kissed me on the playground. He fingered me in my Cuban hotel room. He called me sexy. He added me on Instagram, he liked my photos. He took an interest in my interests (books, painting). We weren’t supposed to hook up in the first place since I had a boyfriend and he was friends with my sister, but he had the face of a God. He acted so incredibly into me.
He invited me over after Cuba was over and I thought we had an incredible time. I know he did. He was smiling nonstop (me moreso), refused to check his phone. We drove around and got pizza, bought dollar store chocolates, watched movies, ate too much food, smoked weed, kissed and kissed and kissed some more. I gave him a damn hand job because I didn’t want to fuck him so soon and he came on my arm. I slept in his gorgeous fucking arms.
Texts were cute and clingy after that. I revelled in the attention. I was on the fucking moon, walking around and smiling for no reason. I was confident and happy. I must’ve looked like a crazy person. Every time I got a text from him, I would light up. I listened to Tove Lo’s “Not on Drugs” and related to almost every word. Except of course, this was not love.
Eventually, after a few weeks, texts became shorter and less frequent. Snapchats went unanswered. I could slowly feel him losing interest in me and it was a bad, bad sinking feeling. I would become unusually angry when I see him ignoring my text but liking another girl’s photo on Instagram. I wanted to throw things, I gave out sighs of exasperation. Why did you have to act like you were into me in the first fucking place? Why could you have not just kissed me in the ocean and left me alone like you were going to anyways? Why did you let me think there was something more?
Here we are, a month later, here we are, with minimal contact. He doesn’t give a single fuck about me anymore. He does not attempt to pursue me like he did mere weeks ago. I am so confused as to what happened, why he lost interest. Did he meet someone else? Was I too crazy for him? Is he simply smoking way too much weed to care about me? What did I do wrong? Did he only want me for the chase?
It’s driving me nuts wondering. I want to ask him, but it wouldn’t really matter if I did or not. I just wish he could treat me like he did in the beginning, like he was fascinated by me. Like he’d do anything to impress me. But it won’t happen. That’s okay. My crush left me crushed.