Now I Know Why They Call it a Crush

I hooked up with this guy about a month ago. We met in Cuba at a dinner reservation. When I first met him I thought he was gorgeous. Definitely one of the most beautiful boys I’ve ever kissed. At least on the top 3.

He kissed me in the ocean. He kissed me on the playground. He fingered me in my Cuban hotel room. He called me sexy. He added me on Instagram, he liked my photos. He took an interest in my interests (books, painting). We weren’t supposed to hook up in the first place since I had a boyfriend and he was friends with my sister, but he had the face of a God. He acted so incredibly into me.

He invited me over after Cuba was over and I thought we had an incredible time. I know he did. He was smiling nonstop (me moreso), refused to check his phone. We drove around and got pizza, bought dollar store chocolates, watched movies, ate too much food, smoked weed, kissed and kissed and kissed some more. I gave him a damn hand job because I didn’t want to fuck him so soon and he came on my arm. I slept in his gorgeous fucking arms.

Texts were cute and clingy after that. I revelled in the attention. I was on the fucking moon, walking around and smiling for no reason. I was confident and happy. I must’ve looked like a crazy person. Every time I got a text from him, I would light up. I listened to Tove Lo’s “Not on Drugs” and related to almost every word. Except of course, this was not love.

Eventually, after a few weeks, texts became shorter and less frequent. Snapchats went unanswered. I could slowly feel him losing interest in me and it was a bad, bad sinking feeling. I would become unusually angry when I see him ignoring my text but liking another girl’s photo on Instagram. I wanted to throw things, I gave out sighs of exasperation. Why did you have to act like you were into me in the first fucking place?  Why could you have not just kissed me in the ocean and left me alone like you were going to anyways? Why did you let me think there was something more?

Here we are, a month later, here we are, with minimal contact. He doesn’t give a single fuck about me anymore. He does not attempt to pursue me like he did mere weeks ago. I am so confused as to what happened, why he lost interest. Did he meet someone else? Was I too crazy for him? Is he simply smoking way too much weed to care about me? What did I do wrong? Did he only want me for the chase?

It’s driving me nuts wondering. I want to ask him, but it wouldn’t really matter if I did or not. I just wish he could treat me like he did in the beginning, like he was fascinated by me. Like he’d do anything to impress me. But it won’t happen. That’s okay. My crush left me crushed.

Book Recommendation: Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

I picked this book up randomly from a cashier at the bookstore who recommended it after I bought Gone Girl (same author).

I literally couldn’t put it down at all when I was on vacation. It was incredible. Even better than Gone Girl. It’s a mystery novel that deals with wild topics like Satan worship, sacrifices, lots of false accusations, colourful characters, and a “Kill Club”.  Flynn has a habit of giving out the perfection amount of information to keep you constantly curious about what’s going to happen next. I was hooked.

It follows the story of Libby Day, whose entirely family was killed when she was only seven, save for her brother, who she accused of committing the crime. She testifies that he was the killer, but he’s not. Nearly two decades later, she discovers the brutal truth about that night.

It’s even going to be a movie this year with Charlize Theron as the protagonist, Nicholas Hoult (the guy from Warm Bodies) and Chloe Grace Moretz. READ IT.

How to be a Fun Person to Talk to

Because too many people are boring nowadays.

1. Express emotion. You will become infinitely more interesting than if you were monotone.

2. Ask the person questions.

3. Care about what they’re saying, and be curious about it.

4. Jokingly insult them when the opportunity presents itself.

5. Share INTERESTING things about yourself – something that’s relevant to the conversation.

6. Laugh, laugh, laugh, Make them laugh.

7. Topics like weather/mutual friends/what they do for a living/pets never go out of style.

8. Smile. A lot.

9. If someone seems really bored of what you’re talking about, either switch the topic, or get the hell out of there.

10. Be able to talk about anything, and everything. No topic is off limits.

11. If you have nothing else to say, you can comment on a mutual thing – like the event you’re meeting them at, or comment on something they’re wearing.

12. Have confidence.

13. Have no regrets about anything you say. Ever.

14. People will never get bored of talking about themselves.

15. Make them feel like they’re the only person in the world.

16. Have fun yourself.

I Got Day Drunk on a Sunday and my Lover Called the Cops on Me

So I spent my Saturday night taking care of my drunk ass friend, Nina. She had three shots of absinthe (70% alcohol) and before we even got into the club, she started vomiting everywhere. We had another friend with us, Carly. We stupidly tried to get Nina in anyways, paid twenty dollars, and then she got kicked out for being way too drunk.

I took care of her, was a good friend and all that jazz. Got her water, bread. I was so annoyed that I flirted back with her boyfriend who was texting me all night because passive aggressiveness is my specialty. I also drank more. Carly stayed at the club.

The next morning, I wake up to Carly, and this guy, Jake, who I hooked up with on prom night (made out only). I haven’t seen him since prom, actually, where he also got kicked out for being too drunk (it’s a talent my friends have)

He was flirting with me,and flirting with everyone in the room. We had three way cuddle sessions. He started touching me really subtly. I decided to get day drunk (morning drunk?), and drank a few shots of rum because I have issues. Me and Jake decide to leave to “get pizza”.

We legit walk around and look for a place to get pizza before it gets way too flirty and next thing I know he’s pushing me up against a house and kissing me really urgently and sexily. He fingered me in the middle of the day right next to someone’s house and I just rolled with it.

We found a convenience store in our search for pizza, got smokes, made out some more.

I stupidly decided to go with him to his house. We took a cab. He had to work at the mall and didn’t have a key to get in. So he left me outside the house in the freezing cold in my slutty little dress while I waited for some random guy to swing by and let me inside.

Sure enough, after what felt like 10 years, some guy comes by and let me in. Because I’m a really friendly drunk, I hang out with him until he leaves to go to some random event. I can tell he’s really entertained by me and thankfully he doesn’t hit on me. We steal Jake’s alcohol (or rather I do, this guy doesn’t, good for him.) It’s Bacardi. I drink too much.

He comes back two hours later to “check on me”. He brings a friend. The friend was really chatty and had a boner while he was talking to me (LOL.) The first guy notices and decides to leave, but drives us to a convenience store first to let us buy smokes first. On the way there, one of them asks me if I like Jake. I tell them we’ve hooked up but I don’t really like him as a person.

We head back to Jake’s, smoke, and chill out. I decide I don’t actually want to bang Jake anymore so when Jake gets home we take off to go to this random guys house. At least he won’t try to rape me. I think. He tries way too hard to impress me. Jake’s really confused about us leaving. We say we’re going “for a walk” because I feel too drunk.

Little did we know, he followed us around the whole time. They yelled at each other on the streets (Jake did all the yelling. The other guy didn’t give a fuck.) Jake says he called the cops and actually did. I don’t really have any idea what the supposed reason was. He was trying to make it out like this guy kidnapped me.

I bleed cause I walked around too much. I chat and flirt. I hold hands with this friend. Cause why not. I smoke. I met this friends really sweet family and Jake tried knocking on their door and got into a fight with the dad. It was retarded.

The aftermath was the cops called me and asked all these personal questions about Jake, like if we hooked up, and said he would’ve got in trouble for harassment, but Jake was just “looking 0ut for me”. The whole thing is hilarious to me. I got his friends number, but I’m pretty sure Jake fucking hates me and will never talk to me again. It was really stupid. I was also hungover for days.

My Friend of 6 Years Asked me for a Threesome

I’m recently happily single, so I thought I’d confide in my friend since 9th grade, U. She was very comforting, telling me he’d never change and I’m probably better off.

She turned the attention to her and her boyfriend. They were doing well, being experimental, and were interested in a threesome. U asked me if I knew anyone who would be down. I said I’d ask around. She said they were looking for someone they knew, and asked if I was interested.

Whoa. Whoa now. She very subtly hit on me once before two summers ago. I didn’t think too much of it. But this, this is something different entirely. I partied with her and her boyfriend like 2 or 3 times, he was very chatty and talkative towards me, but I never thought anything of it. They’ve been dating for two years.

Should I go for it? They’re not bad looking, but not crazy good looking either. I’m taller than them so that might be weird. It might be a juicy experience but it also might ruin our friendship. It would also make great writing material. What do I do? HELP

Why Do People Stay In Shitty Jobs/Relationships?

I think people do because they’re confused / can’t actually see how unhappy they are. Or they don’t think they can do better. There’s a lot of reasons.

My relationship of 1 year recently ended and it took me a long time to realize the relationship wasn’t healthy for me. It was stressing me out more than anything in my life, and our fights would get physical on rare occasions. Everything starts off great but it seems like I was pushing it a little past its expiry date.

Please. You know whether you’re unhappy more than not. Sometimes it just takes a different perspective, or event, or vacation, whatever, to realize that something just doesn’t work at all. To see things for how they really are. And if you find yourself in these situations – a significant other you want to throw out the window or a job you despise, get the hell out. You WILL find another job, or another lover that doesn’t make you feel like this. Life is too short to be anything but happy.

My Fling in Cuba

Jenna and I were at dinner in Cuba, a Japanese one, where it’s all fancy and you have to make reservations. Three guys happened to be at the same table as us. One of them is hot as fuck. A perfectly structured face. I can’t help but stare. The other two are meh. Jenna chatted their ears off, but in a charming way. I didn’t say much, I was feeling shy. Eventually, we ended up parting ways and went to bed.

The next day, Jenna and I were eating at another fast food joint, and one of the guys from yesterday said hey and sat down to eat next to us. Not the cute one. He was nice to talk to though. A bit quiet, mumbly, nervous. But sweet. We talked about his job at Zehr’s, and then went to get coffee. His other two friends happened to walk by and saw us. They sat down with us when they saw their friend. The hot guy sat next to me. I teased him about spilling his drink and we talked about Skyrim. I chatted a bit with everyone, but especially to him. We discovered they were getting day drunk, so we joined them.

We chatted for HOURS. Hours. We went to get more fucking food later and got more and more drunk off “Havana Specials” , which is like a combination of rum and soda?? PS Try a strawberry daiquiri. We also went to their room and watched a bit of a movie. I kept trying to look cute and I’m pretty sure it worked. After playing enough games and watching like half a movie, we decided to go to the beach. Hot guy and another random guy came with us. The setting is beautiful. The beach at night is so peaceful. Words don’t do it justice.

We go swimming. Hot guy comes with us. My body looks bitching. It’s really cold but I’m buzzed/drunk at this point so I don’t mind much. We waded out quite far, I swam with a breaststroke ;) Jenna and hot guy tease me about sharks being in the water. He keeps touching me, teasing me, subtly in the water.

Jenna heads in early. Hot guy gets closer and closer and sees his opportunity.  He holds me bridal style in the water. I can see this one coming. He kisses me really gently. I run off because I probably shouldn’t have rolled with that. I told him not to tell anyone (everyone found out).

We end up making sand castles and smoking cigarettes. We head back to my room and make out a ton when Jenna goes with random guy to get fries. It’s really good, I got a total head rush. He was so hot.

Repeat for another day. Made out with him on a playground and strolled around the resort holding hands.