How a Hot Business Student will try to have sex with you

1. Find convenient little ways to try to put you in a compromising position, eg lead you to the bedroom straight away or after an hour or so. (It is not their first rodeo)

2. They will put some amount emotion/feelings into it. Try to make it cute somehow.

3. Will text you relatively straightforward.

4. They like to be on top / in control.

5. They always try to hit it from the back / see your ass (don’t let them)

6. Will literally try any trick in the book to get you to bend over or have sex with them.

7. See you as a challenge.

8. Will try not to spend a dime on you. May do so if it contributes to you feeling more obligated to have sex with them.

9. Will get you off first somehow.

10. Like the buildup.

11. Would much prefer if you came over first.

12. Will text one day consistently and then ignore you for three in a row.

Anyone else got anything to add?


The Sexiest Mind Game of my Life

The best hookup of my life was also the most messed up.

I dated an abusive guy for about 2 years. After everything had ended, I developed a kink for hooking up (never sex, just teasing) with people he knew. It was a way of showing him, hey, I can get anyone I want. And look at all this stuff I did for you. I can do that for other people too.

So the hottest guy from my high school messages me and just happens to be the brother of the ex’s best friend. Which is exactly my type. Let’s call him H.

We match on a dating site and talk constantly. He’s really fun to talk to. I’m hooked. We talk about everything from hobbies to jobs to future plans. When he started talking to me though, I knew he would snap my heart in half.

He’s also over 6 ft tall, bigger guy, (the exact opposite of my ex), nice face, really hot. Stimulating in both ways.

He eventually leads the conversation to watching Game of Thrones at his place and tells me to watch an episode. So, I get really stoned and do just that.

At the same time, my male friend Dale happened to hit on me because I messaged his friend back on Instagram and he just assumed I would go for anything.

That’s when it hits me. How much guys gossip about me. As I watch this episode and see how much sex is in it, I turn away and literally start laughing my ass off for 20 minutes. I can’t stop.

The thought of them gossiping and trying to figure out what I would do like some sort of game is fucking hilarious to me. And the fact that they gossip more than most girls I know. The thought makes me laugh and laugh and laugh.

The next day, I’m distant from H. He can tell I’ve figured it out. But I also don’t give a fuck what any of those people think anymore. So I lead him on and pretend it’s fine and I’m still down to watch Game of Thrones. Which is exactly what this little screwed up mind game is.

A part of me knows this is a terrible idea. But a bigger part of me didn’t care.

So the part of me that knows it’s bad resists. I distract myself with friends while he tries to get me to come over. But the one night, he caught me on the right one. I was alone, everyone was with their significant others, and I thought fuck it. Let’s settle this once and for all.

So I head over to his place , which I’ve been to many times before having dated the 2 year guy.

I was a little late, about 15 minutes, which I think made all the difference.

I walked up to the door, he greeted me, everything was good. We talked for a bit about the obvious fact that I’d been there before and I joked about talking to his mom but never seeing him.

He lead me upstairs to his room. We had casual talk about his trip to Europe and all of the cute little souvenirs in his room. He gets me a drink. Eventually we start watching Game of Thrones on his laptop. I try to pay attention but I honestly couldn’t give a shit about that show. It reminds me too much of my ex.

Then he says he has to go to the washroom. This is where it gets interesting and our little conflict arises.

He leaves to the washroom, and suspiciously tried to get me to keep watching the show without him. I check, and it looks like he’s brought his phone, which is also quite suspicious. I sit there, wondering what the fuck is up.

Then, I get a text on the laptop. It was from his brother, B. The one that’s connected to my ex.

It says “Can I go to the washroom?”

That’s when my suspicions are now valid. He’s trying to do some recon to see how far I will go with him. Not only that, but his brother and God knows who else are in the house and can hear literally everything.

He comes back right away because he realized he screwed up. We continue to watch the movie and pretend that everything is fine. I say to one of the characters on the show “You little bitch.”

But I’m not talking about the character on the show.

He starts to get super nervous. He can tell I’ve figured it out and gulped. This is when my fight or flight response kicks in. I am going to fight with everything I have not to let this guy fuck me. Everyone in his life has already fucked me enough.

So I cuddle up and get really close to him and pretend that everything is fine. One of the characters on the show says “She still loves you.” And he rubs my arm because he thinks that’s the case and doesn’t realize how bad I’m going to mess with him back. I mentally shut down to that ridiculous show.

He notices I don’t really care about it anymore and asks what id rather do. I play coy and play up my sexuality times 10000. I act like a silly little sexy girl until he tries to hook up with me.

It gets super heated. But I do nothing major. I don’t let him see my boobs, touch anything of mine, nothing like that. I tease tf out of him and then randomly cut it short, claiming I’m just such a good girl.

That’s when he figures out what I’m doing.

So he talks me down out of this little anxiety attack I was having, as I was acting pretty aggressive. He’s so smooth and so good at it. He uncovers my mental state and figured out why I’m even at this house still. It’s because my ex has hurt me so bad. I did so much for him and he did barely anything for me.

So it gets really sweet and cute and we start cuddling. He puts his body on top of mine and dares me to squirm away. He’s so big and I’m so small that I literally could not get away. He overpowered me times 100. Which was super hot.

Then I tried it to him. I put my body on top of his and said “Can you get away now?”

He said “I don’t know if I’d want to.”

So we cuddled like that for a while. It was so nice. I felt a real connection with him in that moment, so I kissed him. I told him sorry, the urge just came over me so I did it. He told me I could do it again.

So I did. And it got super fucking hot. Insanely hot.

He knew exactly what buttons to push. He knew exactly how to turn me on with just his fingers. That’s all he needed.

He does everything to turn me on. Grabs my tits, tell me they look amazing tells me “you’re so hot.” Chokes me while fingering me. I lose my fucking mind and I’m pretty sure I came twice. It’s the most intense hookup of my life. So much buildup leading up to it.

But there’s one issue still. He wants to actually fuck Me. In the shower. But after he lied, there’s no way in hell im getting in that shower for his brother to listen to me get fucked.

Or letting him fuck me at all.

So I resist as much as I possibly can with everything in me. If he gets to fuck me, and he wants to do it doggy style, then he wins this messed up little game. Just that I’m taking it like a little bitch. Like I did that entire relationship.

So I resisted. He tries every trick in the book to get me in that shower. He makes a pros and cons list. He tries to force my hand by leaving the room. He tries to convince me saying “You’ll feel so much better.”

But none of it works. Because I know he’s full of shit. And a little gossip. So I’m going to win this game, to some extent.

So I finished. Twice. It was mindblowingly good. After all of that, he still wants to get off too, obviously. So I tell him, let’s compromise.

Now I see why he wanted to do it doggy. For such a big guy, his size isn’t particularly impressive. But he doesn’t need it to drive me wild, and I prefer medium ish sizes anyways.

I give him a handjob. It lasts maybe a minute at the most. Probably even less than that.

He said “I like compromises” after we’re done.

So I sleep over and fuck with him a little more by keeping him up longer than I needed to. I left at 7 in the morning and We had a very brief discussion the next day before I blocked his number. I sent him a text a few days later explaining that I knew and was upset, but hoped we could be on good terms with no weirdness. I got no response.

But that’s not too important because it’s a fun memory to look back on. Thanks for reading!!

I Made Out with his Best Friend’s Brother

I’ll start at the beginning. I dated this guy, Aaron, for a year and a half. He’s cute and funny and hardworking, but he’s also got a real mean streak. Especially when he’s drunk. He’s ripped my gifts and paintings in half, called me horrible names, embarrassed himself and tried to fight my friends, and he’s even gotten physical. After his latest incident involving getting drunk and calling me a “c*nt”, I decided FUCK this. I broke up with him and decided something. I will torture you in a very unique way, since I’m not the type to be overly violent or aggressive.

Like 99% of millennial singles, I joined Tinder. I got plenty of matches, but for some reason I was only intrigued by people I knew of / had seen before in real life. One guy, Brad, caught my attention – I knew I had seen him before, but from where?

After creeping his Tinder profile, I noticed a picture of him grinning ear to ear with Aaron’s best friends girlfriend/now fiance. And it all made sense – I had seen him at the group get togethers involving Aaron’s best friend, Niall. This guy is Aaron’s best friends brother. I had a good long chuckle over that one, and then got a crazier idea – what if I rolled with it?

Brad said “hey there” on Tinder. I responded, very slowly few and far between, unsure if I should be doing this. Eventually, my responses got faster and faster. He suggested we switch to texting. I did. We texted constantly, I actually found him very intriguing. It was really weird knowing so many random things about his family and his brother, while he knew nothing about me, who I was or why I was doing all this.

He told me about his job as a car salesman, talking about going to the gym, and he added me on SnapChat. First thing he said is that I was super pretty. We literally just sent each other selfies all the time. One night, we stayed up late talking intensely. He told me that was rare for him to stay up late with someone who kept his interest. It was flirty and fun. I was starting to like him. It was terrible.

I should also add that Niall and his fiance are getting married in a few months, and that Aaron and Brad are in the same wedding party. Aaron is the best man. Let’s make it awkward.

Brad, very subtly, asked what it would take for me to fuck him basically. I essentially said someone I was attracted to, that I knew for a long time.

After about a week of talking intensely, we decided to meet up. Because I was trying to definitely piss off Aaron, I suggested that we meet up at his house, although I was nervous as fuck. I took a shot with my college friends before I went over. I was freaking out the whole way there.

I show up about 40 minutes late from what I said. He opened the front door and was pleasantly surprised. I found he looked cuter in person. I apologized for being late, saying I was “driving like a grandma” because it was a new vehicle. Which was partly true.

I was clearly acting nervous, but was really cute about it. I pet his cat and we talked about that little bastard for a bit. His house was really nice. He tried to lead me downstairs, so I went.

We were in his room. We made casual conversation at first- he thought I was 23, when I’m actually 21. I knew he was 25. Bit of an age gap but not enough to be weird. I asked if he went to the same high school as me – uh oh, dont give away that you have mutual friends IDIOT. He said something along the lines of “yes, why?” I responded because that school is so close to here.

I suggested we play video games, and asked that he pick the game. He picked Star Wars. He reminded me so much of Aaron. He was much quieter, much calmer than me. I recognized his brother on his PSN account. Holy fuck. How am I getting away with his? It felt like a careful game of Operation. Don’t let the brother see you. Don’t give away that you know his brother, or that you know his mother passed away, or are you excited for the wedding, or did you have fun at your brothers Stag and Doe? You know NOTHING.

We played on a team, then against each other. I was better on the team. He was decent at video games, and beat me when we were against each other. I jokingly pretended to throw the controller, then said “KIDDING I’m not crazy.”

He told me his dad didn’t think he could be a car salesman, but that he was proving him wrong. Meaning we both have daddy issues. After the video games, he switched it to a scary video game. SMOOTH.

It was incredibly fucked up, involved a never ending seeming loop of walking through a creepy hallway with ghosts and shit. I screamed a couple times. He used to play this game with his friends. After enough of being terrified, he switched to the walkthrough version. Then he started cuddling me, HERE WE GO.

He asked if he was everything I expected. I said yes. And he asked me more about where I was from, and if I had any siblings. I told him everything. I was perfectly comfortable cuddling him, for some reason. Maybe because he was exactly like Aaron, except way less awkward when I first met him.

I kept hinting at him to kiss me, I dont even know how. And he did. And he was decentish. I straddled him shortly after he started. It got pretty intense. I kept running my fingers through his hair and I think I kissed his neck a few times. I took my shirt off and was in my bra, and he squeezed my boobs decently hard. He also took his own shirt off. I kept saying “yeah” through it for some reason, and kinda grinded on his dick THROUGH THE PANTS. He 100% had a boner. He also said “yeah” back.

This went on for like 20 minutes maybe. Idk tbh. He tried to tell me I could take more off, and I basically said I wanted to get to know him better before we do that. He said “makes sense.”

After I asked for some water, we watched a bit of 22 Jump Street before I fucked off. What followed was me telling Aaron, which tortured him just like I wanted it to. I had a massive crush on Brad afterwards, and the second I started to care more, he started to care less. Eventually, my crush faded, and then all of a sudden he seemed more interested again, right when I got back with Aaron. So I guess I’ll just see him at the wedding!!!

Thanks for reading this long 🙂


Birth Control Made Me Feel Crazy

I am 20 years old, and decided to go on birth control because this would be the worst time to get pregnant right now. Also, my period cramps are incredibly painful. Birth control helps with both issues.

So I went to my doctor and based on my lifestyle (nonsmoker), I was prescribed Lolo, a low estrogen dose combination birth control. Instructions were simple, take the same pill at the same time every single day on the Sunday after your period. So I do that. 10am consistently.

Things were fine at first. Everything was business as usual the first week. On the second week, I started getting sharp cramps in the middle of an exam. What the hell. After I leave, I go to the washroom to find my period, it is 2 weeks ahead of schedule and has never been so early in my life. I look online and find that spotting is supposedly common. Only thing is, I have been having light bleeding since and that has lasted about a week and a half now.

Supposedly, this is the crap you have to go through while your body adjusts to the birth control. Extremely early periods were not the only thing that made me feel crazy. I underwent drastic mood swings. One time after my boyfriend came over, I found myself crying constantly after he left because I was feeling like he wasn’t treating me right.

This sounds relatively normal, but it’s like my thought process wasn’t my own. I was absolutely wallowing in it. Feeling like I was incredibly selfless, I do so much for him and he can’t show me half the love back. I would have never cried for an hour or even really thought anything like that under normal circumstances.

This wasn’t the only time I cried uncontrollably on birth control. I found out my cousins 1 year old German Shepard, who I’ve never met, was unfortunately killed in a car accident. Under normal circumstances, I would have been a bit upset. On birth control, I cried for hours and hours about a dog I’d never met.

Overall, I guess if you’re adjusted to it, birth control could be a wise decision. But the health effects, adjusting to it in the first place, and the annoying consistency make it something I would never try again. To each their own.


Why Someone Would Choose Box Dye Over Salon Hair

Every time I go to the hairdresser’s, they usually give me shit for using a box dye and stress that I can never use it again and ALWAYS go to the salon if you want a change, don’t you know how bad it is for your hair, blah blah blah.

I know how bad it is, but do you ever stop for a second and wonder WHY? Here are some reasons why someone would pick a box dye over salon.

1. Cheaper. Duh. I’m pretty sure this is the main reason why anyone would do this. I could pay 200$ for my hair or 13$ for a box dye. Pretty major difference when you’re cheap or broke as fuck.

2. Feeling in control. You get to pick your own specific shade, even if it NEVER comes out like it appears on the box. It’s extremely personal. And the process is entirely in your hands, literally. Apply or as much or as little as you want, leave it on as long as you want, it’s more personal.

3. Takes way less time. When I go into a salon, I have to plan a day around the goddamn process. It takes like 3 or 4 hours. I leave starving and not knowing who I am anymore, albeit with luscious locks. Box dyes take like a half hour and you’re done. You’re a new person. An impatient person’s dream.

4. Avoiding someone criticizing your hair. Sometimes hairdressers aren’t so nice. I’m not saying everyone, many hairdressers (particularly pricy ones, hmm) are hella nice and make great conversation. But some love to tell you how dead your hair is, tell you to buy this product and that product and every product available, and you could use a $104 facial as well?



Tips to Be Happy

Pretty much applies to well, everyone.

  • Never compare yourself. You will never be happy comparing yourself to another persons photo likes, their weight, or their test score. It’s important to remember that these numbers do not make anyone better or worse than you and it’s vital to not put so much emphasis on them in order to be happy.
  • Exercise. You’ve heard it a million times, but nothing really beats that feeling after a work out. You instantly feel healthier and more productive. You will live longer. You will lose weight. You’ll feel beautiful!
  • Laugh, laugh, laugh. And laugh some more. This is so important and honestly one of the greatest feelings in the world. Watch a stand up comedian (Chelsea Handler and Dane Cook being mine of choice), a funny show, talk to someone hilarious, lurk through Twitter.
  • Connect with people as much as possible. Make small talk with someone in the elevator. Call up your parents, best friend, or significant other and have a great talk. Chat up that random at the bar. Good conversation and deep connections are the spice of life.
  • The little things. Offer to help out others. Listen to music. Eat some ice cream. Clean your room. Love yourself. Focus on your good qualities. Read a good book. Happiness is in the little things. Life is truly beautiful.
  • Choose to be happy. Happiness is ALL on you. You must choose to be happy for no reason. It’s all about your mindset. Good luck!

To My First Love That I’ll Never See Again

It’s almost as if I knew you in a prior life. I look at old photos and know you had a very special place in my heart, just look at how happy the two of us were together!

However, when I look at these photos now surprisingly I feel…… nothing. There’s nothing left I feel for you emotionally and I thought at a time that I would never get to this point. I thought we’d be in love forever and ever.

Life got in the way, toxicity, family stuff. Our relationship was completely chaotic and I thought that meant love. Extreme jealousy? Obviously means he cares. He hits me when he’s drunk? It’s just cause he feels so strongly about me. He restricts me from even speaking to the opposite gender? SWOON.

It’s only now in hindsight that I see everything that was so damaged and flawed, not the perfect relationship I portrayed it to be in the slights. Even though at the time there was something anchoring me, keeping me to you. It was because the way you made me feel higher than I’d ever been in my life. Maybe it was the spontaneous excitement, the 200$ concerts you’d pay for, the vodka infused beverages you’d give me, the spontaneous sex in the forest on the way back home. It was crazy and it was fun. Was that love?

The way we met was basically a summary of the entire relationship. I had drunken sex with him at a party when he was 21 and I was 17 in the backseat of his car shortly after meeting him. His girlfriend of 5 years caught the both of us, then chased me around the car trying to murder me. Everyone at that party wanted to burn me, the witch, the harlot, at the stake, but I made a quick getaway.

That was essentially the summary of a year long, a good summary of it anyways. Exhilarating. Wrong. Moving way too fast. Isolating to everyone except for him. Toxic. Fun. Drunk. But in the end, why would you ever date someone who cheated WITH you? That’s not the kind of person you’re going to end up with. That’s the psychotic phase, the party phase, the trying to piss of your parents phase. Not the true love phase.

In a twisted way though, I did love him. But he was so toxic, a drug dealer, abusive, etc. I know that I should and will never see him again. Goodbye first love, it was fun while it lasted.